THE DOCUMENTARY

Hello everyone!

I know I've been gone for quite a long time due to personal reasons but I guess I'm back and better than ever! My last post was back in February, so long ago now! Not really much has changed since then except of course changes through hormones and other things like that, breast growth is insane! I've not really noticed a lot of physical changes but maybe that's because I see myself every day. A few people have told me that my face is getting thinner though, I'm not sure what to think of that to be honest, it's probably just my real bad diet haha!

Anyway the reason I really wanted to do this post was to go into a bit of detail regarding the documentary that I'm a part of, it's called Transsexual Stories, which aired on the 24th of August 2015 on channel BBCone Scotland.
Although this documentary consists of 5 transsexual women (including myself) from Scotland, I will be speaking only from my experience during filming and the aftermath.

I was approached to be a part in the documentary back 2013 and when I was approached I had no idea what to think of it, I thought it was just going to be a little short documentary but I was wrong and it's an hour long one haha! I was a bit wary of the whole thing as I've posted my life and work on the internet and I had never done filming with me in front of the camera, it was weird at first and I didn't really know how to be on screen. It obviously felt a little weird being filmed doing my daily routine or at work doing makeups. Filming got a lot easier each time we did it, the whole thing was filmed over a year I believe so we didn't film every single day, it was once every couple of months or if something exciting was happening we would film it.

We got to film some fantastic scenes but of course some won't make the cut unfortunately! We filmed lots of me walking for some reason! I also had the chance to have some of my friends on camera with me, we filmed at a salon I used to work at which was so much fun and we all had such a fun day, we also got to film at a carnival with some of my closest friends which was probably the best day we had filming. It was just such a hilarious day and we had so much attention on us that day it was insane! I had people coming up to me asking if I was a porn star or a celeb because we were being filmed on some of the rides, it was absolutely hilarious!

A lot was going on in my personal life through the course of filming, I attempted suicide and done other things to myself because of how low I was feeling, I didn't see the point in life anymore I was ready to end it all forever, luckily I didn't and my best friend came to my rescue. Filming the scene where I was talking about it was really hard for me as you will probably be able to see. Although I was really depressed and didn't really enjoy myself then I thought I'd still talk about it on camera as hopefully I could at least help someone in the world. I don't really want to get into to much about this as the documentary and filming was an amazing experience and I don't want to think of it as a bad time.

I've had so much support from my family, friends and peers, I absolutely couldn't have done it without them. I'd like to thank everyone especially my family and my good friend Joe for being so supportive of myself, my transition, my life and accepting me for me.

I'd also like to thank everyone who clicks on my blog and gives it a little read, it gives me so much inspiration to continue with this blog and in life. I love when people tell me how much my blog has opened their minds, answered unanswered questions and when people tell me I'm an inspiration.. you're all so lovely and I'm so happy that people enjoy reading about my life and my experiences.


I'm looking forward to hear everyone's thoughts on the documentary.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b0675519


Thank you for reading my blog!

Instagram: beebumcheeks

Bodyodyody

Hello everyone! I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and New year, I know I sure did! 

I just wanted to write a little something because I rarely update my blog.

Recently I've noticed I'm a lot more confident in my own body and I love the way my body looks! I don't want to sound like I'm full off myself because I'm not but I love my body! I've been working out for ages and seeing fat growing in different places from my hormones it's insane but I absolutely love it! I took photos of my body pre hormones because I wanted to see how dramatically I would change and it's pretty mad how much I've changed in the last year! I'm not going to post my pre hormones photos as they are awful haha! But I did a photoshoot with my friends a couple of night ago, we were just bored and thought it would be fun! I'm going to post some of the photos of me as after adding a filter I'm so pleased with how the turned out! I'm not posting pictures like this because I want to get loads of attention, no. I'm posting these photos because I am proud of how far I've come and I'm proud to have a body like this! 

I hope you all enjoy reading my blog as much as I enjoy writing it! Although I don't post much on it I always have fun writing it, I really should post more to be honest but until next time!

xxxx

Another update!

Hey everyone! I'm so sorry for neglecting my blog, lots of things have been happening and loads of things have been going on, it's been really mad! 

But yeah update on hormones! I've been on hormones for what feels like absolutely ages though, I came off them for a week or so as I was getting really depressed and had a really horrible time for a few weeks but I'm much better now, I'm back on them and feeling amazing!

Breast growth is still happening, got some boobies! Very sensitive at times though and can be quite sore but I'm loving the boobs! 

My hair is growing intensely long, it's amazing. My hair is about half way down my back now when it's straightened, I love it so much. I can't wait for it to grow longer! 

I've been trying to keep myself really fit recently, I try do workouts every morning and my mum recently got a treadmill so I'm having fun on that! I have noticed I'm getting a little fat around my hip area which I'm happy about, I've already for a massive bum but I'm okay with that too! 

I'm still on 4mg of progynova and I have an appointment at Sandyford sometime in January which I'm gonna ask about adams apple shaving and stuff like that. So yeah, I thought I would include a few photo's into this wee post because we've no had photos for a while! 

This photo is a photo of me just over a year ago and a photo of me like 2 weeks ago.

This is me at my friends house about to go out last weekend.

UPDATE

Hey everyone! Super sorry I haven't updated this in a while, I've been so busy with work and life!

So lets start this little post of by saying I've been on hormones for 8 months now, time has went so fast it's insane! The last time I was at Sandyford I got my bloods taken and such, was basically just a little catch up with the Dr and a few weeks after that appointment I got a letter saying that they were going to up my hormones dosage, I was on 1 pill of 2mg progynova, now I'm on 2 pills so I'm taking 4mg of hormones now, madness!

Not too much has changed to be honest, I've noticed a few changes but not too many from the last time I updated.. breast growth, hair growth, emotions are everywhere.. the usual! Haha!

I'm afraid that's all I really have for you today, short and sweet!

Thank you for reading, MWAH!

xoxox

Being in a relationship with a trans person

So I thought I would write this blog post as I know there's a lot of confusion when it comes to dating a trans person. Me personally, I'm a straight female therefore I'm going to date a straight male, now I know you're all thinking ''but you're trans..'' and my response is, who cares?! Being trans doesn't define me as a person, relationships are not about genitals they're about love and respect. I'm focusing more on trans females as I am a trans female and have had relationships with straight guys. 

For me personally, I like straight men, I don't consider myself male so why would I go out with a gay guy? 

There are a lot of men in the world, some people who wouldn't date trans girls just for the fact they're trans, without knowing anything about them which confuses me because being trans is what I am not who I am and I absolutely would not date a guy who sees me as trans, I would date a guy who sees me for who I am not what I am. I don't quite understand why some trans girls go out with men who only see them as trans and not actually as a woman which they are!

I also don't like being treated like a sex doll, I'm not here to pleasure you just because you're into trans people, I am a person trying to get by in life! I'm not someones kinky fetish, I'm a female who wants to do well in life, so don't treat me like shit because I will not respond nicely 

Now I know a few men who I'm not going to mention any names because that would be mean, but I know some guys who don't care if the person they're dating is trans, they say they don't care what's between their legs which I honestly think is the best thing in the world, it actually gives people like me hope that there is men who will like us trans girls for who we are! 

Now off topic, I've been asked to do a blog post answering questions, so I decided I will. If you have ever wanted to ask me a question (personal or trans related) I would happily answer them in my next blog post, so I would like everyone to either Facebook mail me a question they would like to ask and I will answer it on here. 

I'm going to put a link to my Facebook and my Tumblr, on Tumblr you can ask anonymous questions and on Facebook obviously your name will be shown to me but it will not appear anywhere on here, so no one except me knows you asked the question(s). 

Thank you for reading everyone!

MWAH!! xxx

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/beelee.wallace

Tumblr: http://illiminati-princess.tumblr.com/

update!

Hey everyone, hope everyone is well! I'm just gonna write a little update for everyone wondering what's been happening!

Well I've been on hormones coming up 5 month, can't actually believe how fast the time is going! I have noticed a few little changes, nothing too big! My chest and nipples are very sore, like all the time! It's pretty annoying but it's just what you have to go through! I feel like recently I've been over thinking things way too much and letting things get to me which I normally don't and I feel a lot more emotional and a little softer than I used to be, apart from that that's all I've really noticed!

Over the past 2 weeks, I've not felt myself at all. I felt quite depressed with myself and other things, I basically had the maddest 2 weeks of my life, I got drunk a lot, I wanted to be drunk all the time and when I wasn't drunk I was either curing a hangover or working. I can't say too much of whats been going on but I'm feeling a little better and hopefully everything will get back to normal soon!

Now onto more exciting stuff.. We've started filming for the BBC documentary that I will be featured in, once again I can't say too much right now but lets just say it's going to be a good one!! Super excited!

I'm really trying to keep myself busy and not sit and mope around cause I feel like if I just sit and do nothing, all I can do is think which then leads me to over think which I just don't like at all.

I hope everyone is still enjoying my blog, I'll be back updating soon I'm sure!!

xo

HORMONE UPDATE + EXCITING NEWS!

I think I've been on HTR for about 2-3 month now, I'm a changed woman! Na I'm totally kidding haha, I have been noticing subtle changes though, I've noticed that I get a lot more emotional and a bit crabby and I get upset at things easier now, which is completely different to what I used to be like, I never used to shed a tear for anything! As far as physical appearance goes, I've not noticed much but I have been told my skin does look softer and I feel like my hair is really getting long now, it's just above my nipple! Talking about nipples, I was in the bath a few weeks ago and I found a lump under/beside my nipple and I got very worried as there is breast cancer in my family, I told my mum and she told me to go to the doctors so I got my dad to call the doctor for me and I had my appointment on the 24th. I was pretty nervous going in and got a little bit scared and when I went in I told her everything and such, then she asked me to take my bra and top off which I did and she checked for me.. She said it's a breast bud, it's because my breasts are developing through hormones, females get it going through puberty so I was quite pleased with that! Going in thinking the worst coming out feeling fab! She also asked me how the hormones and stuff are getting on and I pretty much told her everything I've just wrote haha!

I also have some other exciting news, I'm going to be featured in a documentary with BBC about trans people at work, I had a meeting with my media manager, producer and director today along with my mum and dad. The meeting went really well and I cannot wait to start filming! Quite a lot going on at the moment, which I guess is a good thing!
Anyway that was just a little update!
I'm sorry I'm not good at blogging a lot, I need to get the hang of it haha!

Thank you for reading and following me on my journey.

BEE xo